Interestingly enough - like our waiters - this dude also sports a fedora, altho' his hat is black and velvety-looking, a la` our fairly-recently-departed Jack-O. He's going for a dapper, basic-black, streamlined look in general: Black (Buddy Holly) horn-rimmed glasses, black pants and shirt with a black tie, (ß Spoken Word Mafia???) what-has-to-be-dyed black hair and a matching teeny little black goatee.
So now he's standing at the microphone, squinting at his iphone. (ßI hate even typing this dopey word.) What follows is essentially his self-intro, give or take a grunt or two:
Buddy-Boy
Black: (Barely glancing up at the
audience ‘cuz – you know - it’s all about HIM and the PHONE):
"Uhhhhhmmm, so yeah. So HI. This is… a little… well… I had a stressful TEST
today. I was up all night STUDYING with
the RED BULL, you know… BURNING THE MIDNIGHT OIL. So I
was PREVENTED from memorizing this BRAND-spanking-NEW PIECE to the best of my
ability. Which you must understand I have an AMAZING memory - (??? We must?) – usually it’s
CONSIDERABLE, my MEMORY – but… as REFERRED TO…I had this TEST… and I’d better
have PASSED it…. feeling a little stressed about THAT as well… so you'll just
have to DEAL with the fact that I’ll occasionally be referring to MY PIECE on HERE…" He brandishes THE PHONE: "…but it should
be fine, and… I’m pretty proud of it, so... Well,
that's it. I guess here goes."
Quite astounding that one could come off so offensively arrogant during
a barely-mumbled speech like this, but BBB managed just fine. And to top it off, the WHOLE "PIECE"
is a halting, stunted ode to technological gadgets - ironically accusing people
of being "androids" who can NEVER STOP looking at said devices, and who
thus are using them as CRUTCHES to get thru life.
Was it
possible that this dude was being self-effacing and deliberately ironic? Sadly,
not a chance. And he's no Ginsberg: It is maybe
3 lines into this jumbled thing and he needs to look at his phone for the rest
of it. He fumbles the phone - catches it
just before it hits the deck.
Sigh. Ginsberg and his little paper notebook: So much more dignified...but I digress...
BBB ( Squinting at the
phone): "I…wait
a minute. Just a second. This is the wrong part! Well,
not WRONG but…(yeah, never THAT, right BBB?!) damn…there's supposed to be a whole
'nother section in here…this is too far ahead... CRAP!… Hold on…"
And he's pressing buttons, SCROLLING, shaking the damn thing. Just your general iphone antics, it seems: Squints
some more into the tiny screen, cursing mildly under his breath but it's coming over plenty loud
because he's of course, doing it right into the mic.
Everyone is sitting there quietly, watching this. Gal Pal murmuring to her beloved Shaggy: "It
was SUCH a good PIECE, too. What a shame!" Shaggy nods dreamily,
staring off. He could care less, busy re-living his own
performance, no doubt.
And Dakonda is getting some more great iphone footage here. But somewhat noteworthy: After Tranny
Houston's big number, Dakonda no longer giggles weirdly while he's filming the
rest of us performers: He's brought it
down a notch. Not a huge improvement, but let's take what we can get.
Buddy Boy Black never does retrieve (or recite) the rest of his PIECE. Does a little more muttering about today's TEST and also the
challenge that is Being an ARTIST, before he up and
leaves. Nothin' here HE wants to check out.
I like
to think that his next PIECE will raise the dilemma of how technology failed
him. Hey, he can even incorporate the word FAIL
into his TEST situation, provided he wound up failing that, too.
Now THERE'S a PIECE I'd actually like to hear! J
Up Next? A KOOKY little act I like to call: THE CURSING
MINSTREL…
TO
BE CONTINUED….
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