HUNGARY, YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS

Ha-cha-CHA!  Me Mums and Pops are leaving for Hungary today!  They’ve been planning this trip for what feels (to me, anyhow) like centuries!   I stop by for a “fare-thee-well and good luck” visit.

Mom: “I just hope we get there alright and get back home in one piece.  Your father is all wound up in a knot, worried about everything.”

(Pop is on the phone in the living room, conversing with his sister in Hungary about their pending arrival this evening.)

Me: “Really? He seems ok.”

Mom: “Oh, SURE – to YOU he seems fine.  But you don’t know what I’m GOING THROUGH over here with him!”

Me: “Well, just have a good time, Ma!  Chill out, take in the sights, enjoy the family over there…”

Mom: “Your father is just so nervous,” She makes madcap little hand motions: “He’s enough to get anyone crazy.”

Me: “Well, just take it easy on him then.”

Mom: “I’M fine!  He’s driving ME crazy!”

Me: “I didn’t mean anything by it…just try to take it easy on each other and enjoy the trip.”

Apropos of (seemingly) nothing, Pop walks in with can of Right Guard, plunks it down definitively in the middle of the dining room table between me and Ma.

Mom: “I CAN’T PACK THIS – WE ALREADY HAVE A CAN OF THIS PACKED.”

Pop: “Who the hell wants to pack it??  I want to USE it.”

Ma: “WHEN?  YOU’RE ALL DRESSED!”

Pop: “It just so HAPPENS that I’M GOING TO CHANGE MY SHIRT!”

Ma: “WHY?”

Pop: “Because I HATE the shirt I have on and I SMELL.”

Hey, I’ll bite: “Oh, yeah?  You smellin’, Pop?”

Pop (wise-ass grin): “Perhaps not to the public AT LARGE.  But for my own qualifications, I am not up to STANDARDS.”

Me: “Hmmmmm!  Alrighty then, man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do!”

Mom: “Oh, well excuuuuuse ME!  So take your Right Guard and go change – who’s stopping you????”

Pop: “JEEZ, YOUR MUDDER IS MAKIN ME NUTS.”

Mom: “DO YOU SEE WHAT I AM DEALING WITH???”

Pop: “What YOU’RE dealing wit’?  What about what I’M dealing wit’?”

Mom: “If you’re gonna change, you better do it BEFORE THE AIRPORT CAR SERVICE GETS HERE.”

Pop: “They won’t be here for ANOTHER HOUR.  How long do you think it takes me to CHANGE MY SHIRT?”

Mom: “WELL,  you also wanted to PUT DEODORANT ON…”

* * * * ** *

Sigh.  SAFE TRIP, YOU TWO!

I’m gonna miss those crazy kids!!