My previous BLOG regarding grammar school daze jogged another memory from that magical place in time. A memory not nearly as angst-inducing. (Well, maybe SLIGHTLY sort of angst-inducing, or it just wouldn't be ME writing it) This particular chronicle pretty much marks the cornerstone period of my life when that ole' Show-Biz Bug... came a-buzz-buzz-BUZZIN' my way....
I do believe it was during my stint in the 5th grade that our school decided to hold a TALENT SHOW. Right away, I perked up at the sound of this. I felt sure that I could do SOMEthing, I just wasn't certain what it could be. I knew of only ONE thing that was a proven crowd-pleaser, but I also knew it just wouldn't be a good idea to stand up in our jam-packed school auditorium and read aloud from my old issues of "MR. IZZO - THE NOSE NOSE." I just HAD to think of something else...
The accordion was out. I had already previously played "Spanish Eyes" on accordion in auditorium once before, and I swear I can't remember why exactly. But I'd shot my load with that one - I didn't have a decent follow-up (or even comparable) accordion number, so just forget that. But the footlights were calling...
Hmmmm...I did like to sing and had been told that I had a good voice. Back in those days, THE SOUND OF MUSIC was a big hit record in our house and I could manage a pretty spot-on impression of Julie Andrews belting out Edelweiss in my parent's echo-y concrete basement. But somehow the thought of standing up ALONE in that auditorium and bursting into my phony-British accent (....EV'RY MOOORNING YEW GREEEEEEEEEEEEET.....MEEEEEEEEE....) was enough to make me want to projectile-vomit my Captain Crunch.
However, in a last-ditch effort to enter my hat into the singing portion of the program, I enlisted a classmate (we'll call her Lydia here) to join me and make it a duet. Now, I knew she was nowhere in MY realm of vocalization expertise, (ahem, ahem...) but with Lydia on board, it seemed like it could be a do-able and much less terrifying undertaking. BUT, ALAS - during try-outs, poor Lydia was SO scared that she went COMPLETELY tone-deaf and damned if that poor little bitch didn't drag me right the hell down into the gutter along with 'er. I was slightly disappointed, but essentially pragmatic. Lesson learned: When in doubt, FLY SOLO, baby. (As I'm sure Sinatra would agree!)
Next brainstorm: THEATRE! Why not? Ever since (at the age of 6 or so) my sophisticated staging of overly-maudlin performances of KIMBA THE WHITE LION (again, in the family basement), well - DAMN! Theatre it just might be! Let's see...perhaps a "PEANUTS" piece! Perhaps I could even write the script myself!
So I did, I wrote the script and everything and then I went ahead and cast Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Linus, Peppermint Patti and Sally, while taking the helm myself as - naturally - Lucy. Everyone got their scripts and we held a total of 3 rehearsals before I was forced to declare the whole thing HOPELESS. We never even made it to the talent show try-outs. These kids were just not actors. And honestly, neither was I.
But there was still time to plan. The try-outs were still in effect until the end of the week and I would not be deterred.
I was walking home from school, remembering that I had a babysitting job for the kids next door that same night, when it hit me like a lightnin' bolt....
To be CONTINUED.....
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