Thank You - Pt. 5

The Heart of Us –  Lynn Ann © 1996

Just before the sun came up

I watched you sleeping fitfully…

One foot – shaking, shaking

I wanted just to hold you.

One black, shiny lock of hair

Against a sky-blue pillowcase

One black, shiny, sleeping dog

Curling up

Against you.

Just before the sun came up

I heard you laughing softly.

Almond eyes

A baby’s smile

I took in everything.

I sat beside you for awhile

You told me of your dream

I gazed in wonder

At the child

Before me.

And you will not leave me.

You will not go.

There’s much to be discussed

Deep in the heart of us.

It’s okay to laugh

It’s okay to cry

It’s okay to trust

In the heart of us.

Finally we’re safe

Finally we’re Home

Finally we’re just

In the heart of us.

And you will not leave me.

You cannot go.

There’s much to be discussed

Deep in the heart of us.

Just before the sun came up…

I watched you

Sleeping.

     *  * *  *  *  *  *  *  * 

The first week of unemployment flies by so quickly and luxuriously, I almost cannot fathom the shimmering beauty of it all.  Until now, never in my life have I ever experienced being a 100% Free Agent: Answering to no one, sleeping whenever I feel like it, jotting down lyrics for a new song, perhaps eating a bowl of soup, walking my dogs, curling up in a blanket to do a bit of reading, putting some chords to those previous song lyrics and then dozing off for a bit again.  By the time I have a band rehearsal or a gig to get to, I literally feel like 10 million bucks.  I have discovered a new rhythm to my life that I never knew was possible.  I am the most blissfully unemployed son of a gun you will ever hope to meet.

Me and Blanche phone each other every other day or so.  When I phone him to confirm our next-day appointment down at the unemployment office, he sounds even happier and saner than I feel.  

Blanche: (Yelling like a nut) “Blanche, we were working waaaaaay too hard!  This is THE ONLY way to live!  Anything less is lies…LIES…ALL LIES!!!!!”

Me: “Sing it to me, soul-sister!!”

He cackles madly: “SING IT?  I’ll slap you silly!  SEE YOU TOMORROW and DON’T KEEP ME WAITING, my LOVE!”

This past week, Blanche has inspired a poem within me.  On line at unemployment the next day, I pull a piece of paper from my jeans pocket. 

I nudge Blanche’s shoulder:  “Hey, bubby.  I wrote this the other night.  What do you think?”

He is mildly surprised - takes the piece of paper and starts reading, his eyes darting quickly.   Within a moment his face crumples and he puts his hand over his eyes – he is crying like a baby.  Finally!  HE’S crying for a change!!!!

Me: “So you know what that’s about?”

Blanche: “O my god, Blanche. You are sooooo fierce.  This poem is SOOOO FIERCE.”

Me: “Thanks!  And I think I’m gonna make it into a song, too.”

Blanche: “O my GOD.  Fucking FIERCE.  Blanche, I LIVE for you~!!”

Me: “Yeah, yeah, yeah.  You say that about MADONNA, too.”

Blanche: “SO?  It’s MY LIFE.  Who’s to say I can’t live for BOTH OF YOU????”

To Be Continued…