So this whole RAPTURE thing that’s supposed to hit – what, tomorrow at 6:00 p.m.? Sharp? I dunno. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t – who’s to say, really? Some people get really annoyed by the whole thing, or upset or whatever. But I think it’s kind of exciting.
I mean, we make fun of these Christian Scientists or whatever they are. Actually, who’s responsible for this, anyhow? I’m woefully uninformed. But it’s a certain Christian sect. I say “certain”, because I know an awful lot of Christians and they are not buyin’ it.
Honestly, I could never deal with the religiosity thing. This whole fear-based, punishment-laden, heavy, threatening mess. And in my soul of souls, I honestly put no credence whatsoever into the END TIMES crap. But I have to admit, I am fascinated by it. And today I found myself actually fantasizing about IF IT REALLY WERE TO HAPPEN…
So because I love you so, I shall generously share herewith the view from my brain, as imagined by me, according to my current plans for tomorrow, which is May 21, 2011:
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MAY 21, 2011
11:00 a.m.: Roll outta bed. It’s a semi-sunny, oddly muggy morning. Dogs need walking. Me and Chris, Ellie and Herman hit the McDonald’s Drive Thru in Glendale for iced coffees and I do believe I will have one of those oatmeal-n-fruit cups that they just started carrying for us HEALTHY folk. Then we head up to The Dome, where doggies can get their park on and we can sit and enjoy our breakfast. This kills about an hour and a half. Sky is clouding all the while.
1:30 p.m.: We come home and put on a record. Today is actually my parent’s 51st wedding Anniversary so we have 6:00 p.m. (!!!!!!) reservations at Belmont Steaks to celebrate with them. My two brothers will be joining us as well. And for the record, tomorrow (May 22nd) is me and Chris’ 12-yr. wedding anniversary. So who know what the hell THAT means.
But anyhow, we put on a record and take turns showering. I get the dogs and the cats fed and then we put on another record and maybe lay down for a little bit and read and cuddle or whatever and then before you know it we get up and get dressed and it’s TIME TO GO TO DINNER.
5:45 p.m.: We leave the house, and I’ve had to give Herman an extra dose of PET CALM because he’s super-upset because for some reason he hates when we go out in the evening. Daytime is not really good for him, either, but EVENING LEAVINGS – oy vey. Plus we all have it in the back of our minds that tonight might be The Apocalypse so nobody’s real happy about that, either.
6:00 p.m.: For the entire 15-minute drive to the restaurant, the sky gets darker and darker. Also, the wind picks up violently. We nervously try to laugh it off. I express the wish to go back home, the hell with the restaurant, but Chris talks me down. I realize I am being silly. Right?
We arrive at Belmont Steaks and I can see thru the window that my parents are already seated. My mother waves to me sweetly thru the window, Edith Bunker-style. My dad is wearing one of his John Gotti shirts, as I call them. As usual, he looks serious but pleased to see us. Always that light in his eye. Not too many people in the place. Maybe 3 or 4 tables of patrons, couple of people at the bar. Sky is black now.
My brothers are here, too. Both are grinning, but their eyes look big to me as we approach the table. We look at each other, and as the wind hammers against the large front window of the restaurant we are reading each other’s thoughts as siblings do:
“Is this crazy, or what?”
And that’s it.
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