ROAD TRIPPING

Ahhhhh,  ROAD TRIPS.   It used to be pretty exciting taking the occasional road trip with my rock band.  And I do love a good road trip movie:   RAIN MAN!  BONNIE & CLYDE!  In fact, a dream of mine is to one day rent a nice little RV and travel across country with Chris and our dogs.  Maybe even bring the cats along, why not?  Take a couple of months off, take a great, big ole’ HIT-THE-ROAD-TRIP!

In May of 2009, Chris committed to being an usher for his older brother’s wedding.  The wedding was taking place in Albany, New York.  Not much of a road trip, really.  A mere 4-hour drive from our abode in Queens. 

The plan for this wedding was a Friday evening rehearsal at a church in Albany, followed by a rehearsal dinner at a local pub, followed by an over-night stay at a Best Western Hotel, followed by the Saturday afternoon wedding.  As far as destination weddings go, I’m sure plenty of people would consider this one to be a piece of (wedding) cake.  But for us, there were complications.  Two of them to be exact.  Their names are Ellie and Herman.

Ellie is a sturdy 30-lb. Corgi-mix.  Herman is a rangy, long-legged Shepherd-and-adolescent polo-pony combo, rounding out at nearly 120 lbs.  These two have really got it made.  You know, let’s face it, any dog of mine has got it made because I’m freaking crazy about dogs.  I must be one of those broads who, in another life, ran with the wolves or some damn thing.   Me and my hounds, we’re a genuine pack.  I bring ‘em along everywhere with me.  They’ve never been boarded in a kennel, nor had anyone baby-sit for them.  Never, ever. 

So as soon as this wedding presents itself, my mind starts moving on the logistics.  How the hell am I gonna rig this?  Actually, with Ellie I could maybe get away with someone sitting for her, but it would still be real rough.  She was nearly 11 and a real mama’s girl.  She’d bark the entire time and drive the sitter crazy, best case scenario.  Worst case, she’d try to make a break for it at some point and run away.  Nuh-uh, not good.

And Herman…well, Herman I knew with utter certainty was gonna be the major dilemma.  He was 2 years old then, and I had literally not known a moment’s blessed peace in the two years since the moment I set eyes on him as a 7-week-old whelp.  I love this dog like nobody’s business and it’s a good thing, too, because it’s been one long uphill road training him and helping him to become the fine young gentleman he (almost) is today.

Of Herman’s many hyperactive personality – ummm – quirks - his episodes of severe separation anxiety are probably the most problematic.  He is an immovable creature of habit and in unfamiliar circumstances - or when his routine is toyed with - his panic can border into seizure territory.  Herman is truly a ‘special needs’  boy, and I use this term in all sincerity and with no irony or sarcasm intended whatsoever.

ANYHOW.   After much debate, me and Chris decide that we will travel to Albany with the dogs, who will spend the night with us at the (dog-friendly) hotel.  Then, on the morning of the wedding, we will simply have to board them in the most reputable kennel in all of Albany.  I keep telling myself:  It will only be for 24 hours.  ONLY 24 HOURS.  They will just have to suck it up and handle it.  And so will I…

Now, to find THE MOST REPUTABLE KENNEL IN ALL OF ALBANY…

After extensive research and prolonged industrious investigation, I come to believe I have finally found just such a kennel.  It comes complete with a glowing reference from the bride herself, who - while not a dog-owner – has a co-worker who is gaga for this place.  There’s even a website, depicting rolling green fields and reassuring, securely-fenced enclosures filled with grinning, cavorting canines big and small.  I get the name of the kennel owner:  MARY. 

Three months prior to this wedding, I call MARY to make the arrangements for Ellie and Herman’s 24-hour stay.  MARY sounds like a sweet, calm woman and she patiently answers every neurotic question I throw at her with a gentle ease.

Until the day we drop Ellie and Herman off at her kennel, I will be calling or emailing MARY on a regular basis -  sometimes twice or three times a week - with a new concern. (Example: “Herman sometimes picks on Ellie when he is anxious.  Please…You can NOT put them in the SAME enclosure.  Please make sure that they are ALWAYS KEPT IN SEPARATE enclosures…”)   And each time, MARY soothes my nerves and restores my confidence that – indeed - everything will be okay.   MARY becomes my beacon in the night.

And so, cautiously, I begin to look forward to our Road Trip to Albany and to The Wedding. 

Before you know it, we are on our way.

TO BE CONTINUED….(of course)…..