"JAILBAIT" - Installment # 8

Happy Valentine's Day, Bubbies!  You know I love you waaaay too much to keep you hangin', so without further adieu I now bring you:

JAILBATE: THE FINALE

 

Boy, that Tony - he really can't take a hint, can he?  Joey's flinging herself all over the freaking basement screaming at the top of her lungs and he's just determined to believe she's JUST JOSHIN'.  

I also love that MOM is now officially chillaxin' with THE MAN. 

Something else occurs to me, and it's that the entire scenerio now seems to have morphed from, say, SPLENDOR IN THE GRASS to NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD.    It's just too fabulous...

And, VOILA~!  Night of the Living Dead does a final morph into THE SHINING!  A tad prescient of the 14-year-old me if I do say so myself, since at the time of this writing, Jack Nicholson's exquisitely psychotic axe-wielding turn in that film was not to appear on the silver screen for another 3 years.  But then again, I guess it's a pretty common thing in drama - the ole' AXE THRU THE DOOR.

Okay, well - little bit of a dreary ending here.  What can I say, I was a maudlin kid.  And who knows, it's still vaguely open-ended.  Maybe things worked out for those crazy kids, after all!  I'd like to think so. 

Hey! Maybe there's a sequel in here, some 30 years later!  Like Joey could dump that shmuck Tony (since he's in jail, anyhow) and then she goes on to become a struggling singer/songwriter and a part-time lawyer's assistant who also writes short stories and rescues animals and ...and ...

Naaah.  Forget it.  Nobody'd be interested in that kinda foolishness.

"JAILBAIT" - Installment # 7

Pg. 13

I’m trying to figure out if they’ve supposedly had sex at this point.  'Cuz not that it's anyone's business, but for the record, people, at age 14  (while definitely harboring some decidedly impure thoughts) I was still technically pure as the driven snow.

“Things can’t get any worse if I hit the road with you, right?”   Ahh, the naiveté of youth!  Oh, Joey, Joey, JOEY.  It can get soooo much worse…  Like, for instance - as in Tony’s case where his parents have  been neatly disposed of in a car crash last year.  (I just re-read and thus remembered that part.  JESUS.)  Well, at least there’s always THE MONTAUK PLACE for vacationing and bringing crippled, under-aged lasses.  This dude's got his technique down to a science - complete with the candy bar in the glove compartment.

Pg. 14

Shit, I hate those pesky barrels in the basement - don't you?  Hey, Joey - isn't that busted leg still kinda delicate?  And here you are, hurtling over barrels, tripping left and right and "frantically running around the house".  How is that thing ever gonna heal?  Okay, now I AM having flashbacks...

TO BE CONTINUED....

"JAILBAIT" - Installment # 6

Pg. 11



Question to self:  Why on earth not just bring the cat along?  Too much trouble I guess.  Cat food and litter does get pricey.   Plus you can always adopt later once you settle in - plenty of shelters out near Montauk.  And wait - MONTAUK?  First time I ever went to Montauk was well after high school graduation.  I guess to a fledgling writer-chick from Queens, it sounded like some kinda exotic destination.  You know.  Like Hoboken.

Also, it's times like this that I'm relieved to have never had an older sister.  Granted, ole' Carry's on the hardcore side, but still - I always sensed that it woulda been trouble...

Pg. 12

Ummm, maybe what was REALLY upsetting Joey was the fact that she had to spend AN ENTIRE MONTH in the hospital for a broken leg.   But I digress...

To  BE CONTINUED...

"JAILBAIT" - Installment # 5

(*Writer's Note regarding above page: Ok, now I'm sure that JOEY and her mother aren't modeled EXACTLY after me and my mom, because if I woulda told her to "shut up" at 14, I most probably wouldn't have survived to write about it.)

Yes, Joey - where ARE you going...?

Once again, I am dumbstruck with the (unplanned) appropriateness of posting this story on my BLOG this particular weekend.  Because it's almost Valentine's day and this is, indeed, a LOVE story!  Slightly twisted, but love-infused nonetheless!

Anyhow,  TO BE CONTINUED....

"JAILBAIT" - Installment # 4

Good Lord, Now JOEY's got a bum leg, too????  Yet another case of LIFE imitating ART????  ~   L

Anyhow.... TO BE CONTINUED....

"JAILBAIT" - Installment # 3

 

      TO BE CONTINUED.....

"JAILBAIT" - Installment # 2

TO BE CONTINUED

BEHOLD: THE BUDDING PLAYWRIGHT~!!!

Okay, it's been awhile since my last BLOG entry, but I am about to make up for it big time because boy, oh, BOY  - have I got a treat for you nice people today.  (At least I hope so...)

As many of you are already aware, I’ve been working on my first novel for a couple of years already.  Lately I’ve been pouring any and all of my spare energy into the final editing process, which is really becoming quite the ordeal.  It almost (but not quite) feels like I’ve started the whole damn book from scratch.   I mean, it’s cool and it’s all good and everything, but DAMN…it never ends. 

So the BLOG has been suffering as a result, and I’ve really been missing it, too.  I have notes upon notes jotted in my beautiful Moleskine Notebook, just chock-full of new blog-entry ideas waiting to be given full written form.  But for now they must wait.  Only so many hours in a day, or brain-cells in my head.

Anyhow, awhile back my mom was digging around in her old porch desk and she came across some of my old poems and short stories from grammar school and junior high.  Yes, I have always been a writing fool.  And fool is right, because I really can’t believe the gem that she uncovered.  It’s actually a full-length PLAY that I wrote when I was 14.  I have very little actual memory of writing it.  More than anything, I recall painstakingly re-typing and re-typing it until I felt it looked perfect.

OKAY, here's the "treat" part!  After some prodding from my beloved husband to do so, I have decided to post this play here on the blog, scene by scene, in the hopes that you sweethearts will be entertained by the musings of my 14-year-old self.  The buxom little girl who WANTED TO BE A WRITER.

It seems this PLAY has no official title so I will take the opportunity to formally christen it, HERE AND NOW. 

Finally, 30-something years later, I ingratiatingly (and somewhat cringingly) present to you the first installment of:

JAILBAIT:  A PORTRAIT OF YOUNG LUST and RAMPANT PUBESCENT REBELLION

(Parental Discretion is Advised)

TO BE CONTINUED....

Impromptu Love Poem on a Wintry Day

 * * *

Yer  gun-metal grey

An' shiny, too

Ye’ve saved me so often

From havin’ the blues…

Ya fixes chairs

An’ ya fixes lamps…

Ya fixes mic stands…

An’ fixes amps…

Ya fixes things attached ta cars

Ya fixes rocket ships ta Mars…

Ye’ll fix eye-glasses in a pinch,

So’s that me peepers needn’t squinch…

So’s they’ll stay on me face fer the long drive home

Yer savin’ LIVES – sure as I’m born!

So let them scoff and let them sneer

And let me tell ya somethin’, here…

Oh, fine sticky stuff that I hold so dear…

In case I haven’t made myself clear…

Fer you, I ROCKS

An’ fer you, I ROLLS –

Duct Tape, baby…

Yer  OUTTA CONTROL!!!

* * * *